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MOTHER'S ADVOCATE |
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If your child broke his or her arm or gets chickenpox, you know to stay calm and where to get help? The Doctor Because you have mentally prepared your self for an illness or accident. IF YOU THINK YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED? You must try to react in the same way. Try not to express any form of ANGER. Even in your voice as the child will sense this too. Your immediate reactions will have an effect on how your child communicates with you and responds. It will probably be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life or will ever do. But for the Love of your child you must try to do this. You must try to stay calm or your child could shut down completely. Your child could change his/her story in response to your anger or disbelief when infact the abuse is actually occurring. Your child could change the account around to your questioning. Be careful this means that future disclosure could be deemed as being coached and could be harmful if a court case comes about! You could make your child also feel guiltier. Very few reported incidents are false but I am not saying it doesn't happen it can. |
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DO NOT OVER REACT |
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Create and lobby for policies reducing or trying to eliminate one adult one child situations in all youth organisations such as sports teams, clubs and church clubs. These policies should be in place so that all childrens activities can be interrupted or observed at any time. Statistics show that when a child is sexually abused they are more likely than not to know their abuser. The greatest risk to children does not come from strangers but from family members or friends. Remember people who abuse children look and act like everyone else, they can hold down respectable jobs in the community. Child sex abusers often go out of their way to appear trustworthy to gain access to children. It is a mistake to think it' a dirty old man in a rain coat. Women can be abusers too! Make sure the activity your child is involved in have policies on child safety they should not be offended at your enquiry and realise you are not making any accusations but only trying to protect Your child. |
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Reduce the RISK and insist on POLICIES to better protect our children |
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Talk to other adults about Child sexual abuse. It DOES EXIST and mutual learning occurs, when adults talk about subjects and this can influence their choices on child safety. When we put our children into a car we put the seat belt on! When we cross the road with our children we hold their hand! When our children start school, we take them there. Make sure they are safe and wait at the school gates for them to come out. SO WHY ARE WE NOT MORE VGULANT TO THE SILENT DANGERS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? SIMPLE: "Because it can never happen to me?" " I don't know anyone who :would abuse my child?" "It has never happened to me so, I don't think about it." "I don't want to think about it, then it will go away!" " It's never happened to me so, it doesn't really bother me" Well your wrong, It does happen! It is happening to children all over the UK Every Day. It could happen to your child and if it did would you even know? Statistics show that most children don't even disclose until they are adults? |
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TALK TO OTHER ADULTS ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE |
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Physical signs of Sexual abuse are not very common although redness, rashes or swellings in the genital areas may be symptoms? Infections in the urinary tract. Physical problems associated with anxiety such as chronic stomach ache or headaches may occur. Emotional and behavioural changes are more common. These can run from perfect behaviour to withdrawl depression to unexplained anger, rebellion and alienating themselves from the rest of the family. Sexual behaviour and language that are not appropriate for your childs age could also be a red flag. Also we aware that in some cases there can be no signs what so ever. Also changes in appearance,personal hygene and clothing. They can also alienate themselves from the rest of the family |
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Learn the Signs! Is my child withdrawn because he/shes's being bullied at school |
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Talk Openly with your child |
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MOTHER'S ADVOCATE |
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Good communication may decrease a childs vunerability to the risk of sexual abuse and increase the likelyhood that your child would tell you if any abuse occured. Teach your child about their bodies and what abuse is! When at an appropriate age about sex. Teach them the difference between GOOD TOUCHING and BAD TOUCHING. Teach your child how to care for their body and teach them the rules about adults bad touching. Teach them what parts of their bodies are not to be touched by others. Teach your child not to give out their Email address, home address or phone number when on the Internet. Be proactive if your child feels uncomfortable with another adult even a family member ask them WHY? |